The Hunchback of Notre Dame Review: Disney Marathon

Spoilers

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is one of the most heavily adapted stories ever. It’s full of mature themes, interesting characters, and is notoriously tragic. So, I imagine it was quite surprising when Disney announced that they would take a shot at this story. How did they do?

This movie is great, but the usual Disney nonsense has to appear to drag it down. The Hunchback of Notre Dame reaches heights that no other Disney movie reaches. Unfortunately, it also has a few glaring flaws that really hold it back from being the best in Disney’s catalogue. It’s still one of my favourite Disney movies. It’s a movie that I have gotten more out of every time I watched it. I remember when I first watched it as a child and genuinely thought the theme of it was “I guess ugly people really don’t get the girl” that’s some incel tier bullshit you were saying young Cameron. So seeing that this will probably end up being my longest review, let’s get on with it.

The movie starts with a puppeteer telling us the story of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I’m cool with this being a framing device, unlike Aladdin’s merchant this puppeteer actually shows up again throughout the story. The puppeteer takes us back 20 years where we get one of the best openings to any Disney movie.

A group of gypsies are trying to sneak into Paris, one holding a baby. A bunch of soldiers led by the antagonist Judge Frollo ambush the group but the one with the baby escapes. Frollo catches her and straight up murders her outside Notre Dame cathedral. I remember watching this for the first time and actually questioning if it was Disney, I think the creators of this movie must have just snuck it out whilst the Disney execs were in a money-coma from The Lion King. Frollo sees that the baby is deformed and plans on drowning him in a well when the Archdeacon catches him. He claims that if he drowns the boy, his soul will be damned to hell. This scene is great, the shots of the statues outside the cathedral staring him down, and the close ups of his nervous face really brings home the idea that in that moment he is fearing God. He asks the Archdeacon what he needs to do. The Archdeacon says that Frollo needs to look after the baby because you know Frollo murdered the child’s mother. Frollo reluctantly agrees as long as the baby can stay in the cathedral. He names the child Quasimodo. The song “The Bells of Notre Dame” play over this entire scene and works perfectly. It makes it feel almost like a religious parable, although there are times where I think they could have skipped on the lyrics and just let the scene play with lyric-less music in the background, like in the part where Frollo realises he needs to adopt Quasimodo or he’d go to hell. We can get that from the imagery, we don’t need lyrics spelling it out for us.

We skip forward 20 years, Quasimodo lives in the bell tower of the Notre Dame cathedral where he hangs out with his three gargoyle friends Victor, Hugo, and Laverne. If they were removed this might have been my favourite Disney movie ever. I’m dead serious, they are that much of a blemish on the film. They truly ruin every scene they are a part of. Disney just couldn’t help themselves, could they? “We need to add some stupid fucking comic relief characters” I can hear them saying to themselves. Initially at least it seems that they are in Quasimodo’s head, but nope it turns out they are actually alive. What they should have done was make Quasimodo talk to the gargoyles, yes, just don’t make them talk back. It would have highlighted what 20 years of isolation has done to him whilst allowing him to explain his inner thoughts for us, the audience. I will now continue the plot summary pretending that they don’t exist.

Quasimodo talks to three nothings about the Festival of Fools and how he wants to attend. A trio of characters I can’t quite remember anything about encourage Quasimodo to sneak out and attend but before he can Frollo catches him. Here we get to witness all of the brainwashing that Frollo does to Quasimodo. Teaching him his alphabet with words like “abomination”, “blasphemy”, “contrition”, “damnation”, and “eternal damnation”. Not only is he brainwashing him to believe himself a monster, but also to fear God, brainwashing him into religion, hmm teaching kids about religion instead of letting them decide themselves, that sounds familiar. Anyway, Quasimodo accidently says the word “festival” so Frollo gets angry at him because it’s clear he wants to go to the festival. Quasimodo states that Frollo gets to go every year and Frollo’s response is such a perfect indication of his character “I am a public official. I must go! But I don’t enjoy a moment. Thieves and cutpurses, the dregs of humankind, all mixed together in a shallow, drunken stupor.” He thinks himself better than everyone else, it’s a realistic form of evil which is one of the things that makes him the best Disney villain of all time, yeah I said it. Frollo sings the song “Out There” which highlights their relationship, Frollo keeps Quasimodo in the bell tower because of his appearance, or at least uses this as an excuse to keep him there, it’s more likely he doesn’t want to be associated with Quasimodo due to his appearance. Frollo leaves and with encouragement from some redacted characters Quasimodo leaves the cathedral to attend the Festival of Fools in disguise.

We cut to a gypsy named Esmerelda who is almost robbed by some guards before the new Captain of the Guard Phoebus helps her escape. Esmerelda is great. Three people are after her throughout the film but she’s never presented as a trophy to be won. She’s outwardly flirtatious but never objectified by the movie, she’s objectified by Frollo but that’s the point. She’s kind and later on when she meets Quasimodo, she wants to help him as he is oppressed just like she and her people are. There’s not much to say about Phoebus, he’s essential to the plot of course but his character is just “good / hot boy”.

Phoebus meets up with Frollo who tells him about his hatred for gypsies. This is once again another great scene. Frollo crushes some ants whilst talking about gypsies (clearly comparing them to insects, yeah the symbolism is on the nose but I’m dying for actual symbolism after watching so much movies that lack it) and says that no matter how many you kill more keep appearing so they clearly have a hideout in the city. Frollo lifts a brick revealing hundreds of ants before crushing them all with the same bricks. It’s great, disturbing, but great. Also, there’s a man getting tortured, are you sure this film was made for kids as the primary audience?

At the Festival of Fools, the song “Topsy-Turvy” is sung and it’s a good description of the festival. Nothing I’d listen to in my own time, but works in the movie. Quasimodo is enjoying the Festival of Fools when he meets Esmerelda who is nice to him. This is the first time in Quasimodo’s life where anyone has been nice to him so of course he’s going to fall for her very quickly. She then complements his mask which hurts Quasimodo. At that moment he believed someone didn’t even acknowledge his appearance, but it turns out she just thought he was wearing a mask.

The festival reaches the main event, the crowning of the King of Fools. Quasimodo is thrown on stage by Esmerelda as she thinks he’s wearing a mask but when it turns out he isn’t wearing a mask he is crowned the King of Fools. Everyone celebrates him in a very bittersweet moment before the storm. In this moment he is getting celebrated and loving the attention, but he’s getting celebrated for being ugly. Frollo watches on with disgust at Quasimodo for ignoring his orders. A guard who is voiced by Bill Fagerbakke who voices Patrick from SpongeBob decides to ruin the fun by throwing a tomato at Quasimodo. The hive mind suddenly turns on Quasimodo and start humiliating and torturing him in a scene that is actually hard to watch (in a good way). Frollo sits there refusing to help him despite his pleas for help. Phoebus asks Frollo if he can help but is refused the chance. Esmerelda comes to Quasimodo’s rescue and is chased by the guards and Frollo before she takes sanctuary in Notre Dame.

Inside the cathedral Esmerelda sings the song “God Help the Outcasts”. I like this song, whilst everyone else is praying for luxuries, she’s praying to just not be oppressed. Phoebus meets with Esmerelda and they flirt for a bit. Frollo arrives and congratulates Phoebus for catching Esmerelda, Phoebus tells Frollo they can’t do anything to her whilst she’s in church as she claimed sanctuary. What happens next is the most villainish scene in any Disney movie because of how real it is. Frollo grabs Esmerelda and smells her hair clearly getting pleasure from the action. She demands to know what he’s doing which he replies with a lie by saying that he’s imagining a noose around her neck. She replies that she knows exactly what he was thinking. This is disturbing. It’s the first time a Disney classic has dealt with sexual harassment. The other Disney villains rarely feel real, Frollo is a man of power using his power to achieve his sexual fantasies. At the end of the movie Frollo gives Esmerelda the chance to essentially have sex with him or get burnt to death. Real villains aren’t some pure evil witches, they’re people who use their power to sexually assault whoever they please. Frollo was made by Disney to teach people that being a villain wasn’t cool. He was Disney making a realistic villain. Of course, I do still like the charismatic, destined to be evil villain, but they can’t compete with someone who feels so real, and therefore so threatening.

Esmerelda see’s Quasimodo and goes to meet him. He shows her his bell collection which is just kind of adorable to be honest. I love the speech between the two where Quasimodo tells Esmerelda that she isn’t like other gypsies. That’s what he was taught, that gypsies were evil. It’s a mindset that is sadly shared by many people, the idea that “nah you’re my friend, you’re not like the others”, Quasimodo at least has an excuse, he has talked to literally one person throughout his life so of course he’s going to believe what he tells him. Esmerelda explains to Quasimodo that Frollo is wrong and Quasimodo helps Esmerelda escape the cathedral. She gives him a kiss on the cheek and gives him a cryptic map to the gypsy hideout in case he ever needs her.

This is it, the best scene in any Disney movie ever. The Heaven’s Light / Hellfire scene. I’m going to do something I normally don’t with songs in these reviews. Normally I’ll mention if I like it or not and give a sentence or two describing why. This is because I’m no expert on music. I do enjoy analysing lyrics though so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to explain lyrics by lyric why these two songs as well as the scenes surrounding them are perfect. Let’s start with Heaven’s Light. The first lyrics are self-explanatory.

“So many times out here
I’ve watched a happy pair
Of lovers walking in the night
They had a kind of glow around them
It almost looked like heaven’s light”

Quasimodo has watched people in love, in his head it is something magical, something worth comparing to the very light of heaven.

“I knew I’d never know
That warm and loving glow
Though I might wish with all my might
No face as hideous as my face
Was ever meant for heaven’s light”

In his head there is no chance of him ever finding love, he’s always viewed himself as a monster. It wasn’t just that he thought people wouldn’t want to be with him, it was that he thought he didn’t even deserve to be with someone. He dreamed of it of course but in his eyes, it was a pipe dream. In the scene Quasimodo literally pushes two of his wooden carved people together, which is a nice parallel to what he does with Esmerelda and Phoebus later on in the movie, when he takes both of their hands and puts them together.

“But suddenly an angel has smiled at me
And kissed my cheek without a trace of fright
I dare to dream that she
Might even care for me”

Esmerelda has shown affection towards Quasimodo. We all know it was just a friendly kiss on the cheek but to him that was everything. Note the words “she might even care for me” unlike Frollo, he isn’t objectifying her. It’s not a “I want her” it’s a “it’ll be nice if she likes me as well”, he’s thinking of her wants as well as his own.

“And as I ring these bells tonight
My cold dark tower seems so bright
I swear it must be heaven’s light”

This is self-explanatory, Esmerelda is great, knowing of her has made his life happy. The way he carves the wooden figure of Esmerelda in a fun and dancing position instead of something more sexualised is great as well. He isn’t sexualising her; he actually feels something for her because of who she is as a person.

Quasimodo looks at love as something holy, something beautiful, but what does Frollo think? Well now we turn to Hellfire.

We cut to the purple fog (a colour often used to symbolise corruption) and the chanting of the people of the church. The fog brings us to a purple sky and Frollo’s house.

“Beata Maria
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud”

This is Frollo trying to justify himself not only to God but to himself. It’s also him showing one of the seven deadly sins, pride. But he justifies it to himself, he’s “justly proud”. In his eyes he’s so great that of course he’ll be proud of himself. And the phrase “you know” is perfect, in his eyes his greatness is a fact, and of course in heaven they also believe that, that’s what he tells himself anyway. It is interesting who he is talking to though, “Beata Maria” is him talking to the Virgin Mary from the bible which makes things a lot more interesting. Mary is everything Frollo isn’t, she’s pure, she’s the Virgin Mary, she’s known for her not having sexual impulses. Frollo compares himself to this, so when he gets sexual urges he tries to justify them to someone who was known for not having them (although she did have some children after giving birth to Jesus so I’d say she had some sexual urges at one point).

“Beata Maria
You know I’m so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd
Then tell me, Maria
Why I see her dancing there
Why her smouldering eyes still scorch my soul”

This reiterates what I said previously, he’s saying his purity is a fact with the words “you know” once again. It also reaffirms how little he thinks of those he doesn’t believe are pure with the line “the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crown”. To him, they are the only people with these dirty sexual desires, someone as high as himself, shouldn’t be feeling this way. He’s confused about these feelings.

“I feel her, I see her
The sun caught in her raven hair
Is blazing in me out of all control”

This is his sexualising her, what he notices about Esmerelda is her physical appearance “the sun caught in her raven hair”. There is also the imagery of her sexually dancing in the fire, contrast to her much more playful dance that Quasimodo carves her as.

“Like fire
Hellfire
This fire in my skin
This burning desire
Is turning me to sin”

This is where he truly comes to terms with his sins and him dropping to prayer at the end is the humblest, he ever it. But then

“It’s not my fault
I’m not to blame
It is the gypsy girl
The witch who sent this flame”

He starts to blame Esmerelda for him being attracted to her. To him he is pure, that isn’t up to debate for him. Esmerelda was what had made him sin. He can’t possibly blame himself. There are also the red cloaked figures here, judging him, as he tries to justify his sin to them, and himself.

“It’s not my fault
If in God’s plan
He made the devil so much
Stronger than a man”

Now he’s blaming God for his actions. That’s the level he’s on. He is more likely to blame God himself than understand he is at fault.

“Protect me, Maria
Don’t let this siren cast her spell
Don’t let her fire sear my flesh and bone
Destroy Esmeralda
And let her taste the fires of Hell
Or else let her be mine and mine alone”

He is angry at Esmerelda, to him she is a “siren” who only exists to temp him. Not a human being. She has ruined him in his eyes. He wants her to either burn in hell or be with him, where I assume he’d try to convert her and justify him forcing her into a relationship with the idea that he’s helping her by getting her into heaven.

“Hellfire
Dark fire
Now gypsy, it’s your turn
Choose me or
Your pyre
Be mine or you will burn”

This just reiterates what was said before, to him she can either get with him, or burn in hell.

“God have mercy on her
God have mercy on me
But she will be mine
Or she will burn!”

Just when you think he might at least be praying for her with the line “God have mercy on her” the next three lines tell us that this request was a hollow one. He wants to justify his desire to get with her, he’s gonna get her into heaven, yeah, that’s why he wants to get with her. But if she doesn’t accept that, then she can burn in hell. He wants her, and will try and justify it with religion as much as he can.

Heaven’s Light and Hellfire show two polar opposite people. Heaven’s Light is sung from a man who believes himself to be a monster and wants romance. Hellfire is sung by a monster who thinks he’s a man who wants sex. I’ll now go back to making a joke or two about every other song I come across and providing no actual critical insight into them.

Frollo learns that Esmerelda has escaped and orders a city-wide search for her. Here we see a man ingulfed by power and see what he’ll do to get his way. He arrests any gypsies he encounters and burns down numerous buildings on his path to find Esmerelda. This all culminates in him locking a family in their house and setting it on fire. Phoebus jumps in and rescues the family so Frollo orders his execution for disobeying him. Phoebus gets an arrow shot into him as he tries to escape making him fall into a river. Esmerelda rescues him and takes him to the only place she knows is safe, the bell tower. A bit of a weird choice, why not the Court of Miracles? Before they arrive the nothing characters, I don’t want to talk about sing the song “A Guy Like You” to Quasimodo. Let’s just say it ain’t no Hellfire. Quasimodo agrees to help Phoebus but tears up when he sees Esmerelda kiss him. This is honestly heart-breaking; Quasimodo is such a nice guy and many people say that he should have gotten with Esmerelda. Should he?

A woman isn’t a prize to be won. Esmerelda doesn’t have to get with Quasimodo because he was nice to her, that’s not how life works. This film focusses on three people who like a girl, Quasimodo, Phoebus, and Frollo. Phoebus gets with her and there isn’t much to say there. But Quasimodo accepts that Esmerelda is happy with Phoebus and helps them both even though it isn’t going to get him the girl. That’s what makes him one of the most compelling Disney characters. Yeah, he’s sad that Esmerelda isn’t interested in him, but he thinks of her feelings, not his own. He is truly selfless. He even states later on that it doesn’t matter if he saves the day, people still won’t think of him as a hero because of his appearance, luckily he’s wrong but he still goes to save the day with that mindset.

Frollo comes upstairs so Esmerelda leaves and Quasimodo hides Phoebus. He could have easily turned him in, he still views Phoebus as competition at this point in the movie, all I talked about earlier comes a bit later. He has a perfect opportunity to snuff out the competition (in his eyes) here, but doesn’t because he’s a genuinely good person. Frollo mentions that he knows where Esmerelda is hiding and is going to go and kill her and all of her mates in the morning. After Frollo leaves Quasimodo and Phoebus agree to team up to help Esmerelda.

They use the cryptic-ass map to find the Court of Miracles, the hiding place of Esmerelda and her people. When they arrive, they are immediately captured and almost executed before Esmerelda explains that they are good guys. During this capture the song “The Court of Miracles” is sung and it’s really catchy, one of the better songs on the soundtrack. Of course, Frollo didn’t actually know where the hideout was and just followed Quasimodo. All the gypsies are arrested and Quasimodo is tied up in the tower.

Esmerelda is going to get burnt alive when Frollo gives her the offer of getting with him instead so she spits in his face. This shows Frollo once again being a terrible person, he’s using his power to sexually advance on someone who ain’t interested.

Quasimodo is all chained up but refuses to fight. In his eyes Frollo has won. There’s no point in even trying anymore. This is where the mystical characters that I vowed not to talk about say their one good line in the movie “After all, we’re only made of stone. We just thought maybe you were made of something stronger”. Anyway, back to not acknowledging them. Quasimodo breaks free of the chains and rescues Esmerelda. Frollo orders his men to attack the cathedral, but Phoebus tells everyone to rebel, pointing out that Frollo is happy to attack a place of worship. A fight ensues. Quasimodo pours some molten copper in front of the door to stop people getting into the cathedral. The ground now truly looks like hell. Frollo gets through and fights Quasimodo and Esmerelda but eventually falls to his death into the hell substitute below. Quasimodo also falls but is caught by Phoebus. As mentioned earlier, Quasimodo puts Esmerelda and Phoebus’s hands on top of one another. Quasimodo is actually happy that they’re happy. When they all go outside everyone now accepts Quasimodo as a hero instead of a monster. The end.

As you can tell from this being my longest review yet, I have a lot to say on this movie. It’s the deepest Disney movie at this point, one that I’d almost recommend to people who don’t even like Disney. But those fucking gargoyles prevent me from doing so. They ruin emotional scenes with stupid unfunny jokes. But this isn’t the only adaption of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, so screw it, at some point after this Disney Marathon I’m going to review every adaption of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Probably as one big review as I don’t think people want numerous reviews on movies based on the same story. After watching all of the other movies I’ll rank this movie among them. Anyway, I guess like or comment or something if you want that sooner rather than later, just so I can tell if you all actually really want it. I’ll make it anyway, that’ll just make me do it faster. Believe me I’m not getting anything from likes and comments, I don’t make a penny from this website, it’d just be to see how much interest there would be. Ok this review has gone on for long enough. Tomorrow I’m reviewing Hercules, thanks for reading, see you tomorrow.

9 / 10